Top 8 Summer Flicks.

Comment 1 Standard

Although the Summer Solstice isn’t until June 21st, I’m already preparing for the season by getting together all of my essentials: Bronzer? Check. Sea-salt spray? Check. Gold eye shadow? Check. Cute wedge sandals and a big beachy hat? Check and check. I’ve even picked up a bright, lightweight tote to make my hustling and bustling around the hot, humid city a little easier through the most sizzling months of the year.

But apart from my wardrobe changing and my makeup regimen getting switched up- one thing that definitely gets me in the Summertime frame of mind is gathering around with friends in front of the A/C (or strategically placed fans,) with a popsicle or frozen yogurt, and watching a good Summer-y movie. Over the years, I’ve accrued a handful of go-to favorites that never get old that I thought I’d share for anyone who needs a break from getting sunkissed for an hour or two- or for an all-night marathon.

So here are my top eight Summer flicks!

DazedAndConfused1. Dazed and Confused (1993)

“AIR RAID!” Matthew McConaughey just looooves those high school girls, Ben Affleck can’t seem to let go of his (two-time) senior bully status, and Parker Posey initiates (and humiliates) the incoming freshman girls by covering them with ketchup, mustard , eggs, and flour while wearing an impressive pair of tube socks. ‘Dazed and Confused’ is a cult classic with a terrific ensemble cast and an awesome soundtrack as the movie depicts the carefree craziness, the hilarious mischief, the innocent crushes, and the poignant coming of age during of the last day of school in the Summer of 1976.

WetHotAmericanSummer2. Wet Hot American Summer (2001)

Another cult classic with an impressive ensemble cast. ‘Wet Hot American Summer’ is one of the funniest, most insane movies of all time. Featuring the likes of Amy Poehler, Molly Shannon, Janeane Garofalo, Christopher Meloni (as Gene- my favorite character,) Michael Ian Black, and Paul Rudd- among so many others- this movie follows the counselors and campers during the last day at Camp Firewood in the Summer of 1981. There’s a talent show, a gay wedding, fridge-humping, sweater-fondling, an inspiring dance segment- and a piece of a sky-lab falling from space that threatens to destroy them all. Years later, and I laugh from start to finish whenever I watch this.

Grease3. Grease (1978)

Although ‘Grease’ doesn’t just take place during the Summer, and instead follows the tumultuous romance between greaser Danny Zuko and good girl Sandy Olsson (as well as he ups and downs of their friends- Rizzo being my #1 girl!) throughout their senior year of high school in the 1950’s- I only ever watch this movie during the Summer. With a ridiculously catchy, can’t-help-but-sing-a-long soundtrack- this movie’s questionable “change yourself for the person you have a crush on” moral/ending was a tad on the ridiculous side- but it’s still a classic nonetheless- and Jeff Conaway was a babe as Kenickie.

TheTexasChainsawMassacre4. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974 & 2003)

You can’t have a Summer movie marathon without one or two good horror movies- and they don’t get much better than ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, both the 1974 original and the 2003 re-make (which I’m actually a big fan of,)  that needs no introduction. Five teenagers are traveling through desolate Texas when they encounter an unhinged hitchhiker and make the mistake of picking them up- setting in motion a series of horrifying events that include, but are certainly not limited to torture, murder, cannibalism, and power tools. Even though I’ve watched these movies countless times, I still jump and cringe during certain scenes. The sound of the chainsaw gets me every. single. time.

NowAndThen5. Now and Then (1995)

I have a special place in my heart for “Now and Then,” which I watch every Summer with my mom at least once- and have done so since it’s release when I was a kid. The funny, often touching film follows four girlfriends in their small town during the Summer of 1970 when they are coming of age, dealing with changes in their families (divorces, death, etc.) saving money to purchase a tree house, feuding with neighborhood boys, and attempting to solve a murder mystery after a seance gone awry. The movie often fast-forwards to the four friends as adults in the 90’s, where they have reunited in their old neighborhood for the birth of a child and reminisce about the lessons they learned during that Summer and the mistakes they’ve made since. This movie is a tear-jerker for sure, but I love it.

DirtyDancing6. Dirty Dancing (1987)

With moves that make ‘Grease’s’ Danny Zuko look like an amateur, Patrick Swayze’s portrayal as Johnny Castle was nothing short of swoon-worthy, and his chemistry with Jennifer Grey as Frances “Baby” Houseman make them one of my favorite on-screen couples of all time. ‘Dirty Dancing’  follows Baby and her family during their Summer vacation at a failing resort in the Catskills Mountains in 1963. She meets Johnny, the resort’s seasonal dance instructor, and through unfortunate circumstances surrounding his dancing partner- Baby ends up temporarily taking her place- and the two eventually fall in love despite the disapproval of Baby’s family and the meddling of Johnny’s superiors at the resort. Everything works out in the end, though- with a poignant dance number and Baby nailing the lift she’d been too afraid to try earlier in the movie. It’s a beautiful scene that may or may not bring a tear to my eye (it totally does.)

TheSevenYearItch7. The Seven Year Itch (1955)

Hands down one of my favorite and most beloved Marilyn Monroe films, ‘The Seven Year Itch’ has withstood the test of time, still being clever and funny all these years after it’s release. Richard, an ad executive with an overactive imagination, and whose wife and son are vacationing out of town for the Summer, befriends his beautiful new neighbor (played by Monroe.) He develops an innocent attraction to her- never actually leading to anything that would spoil the overall good nature of the film and it’s characters- but his fantasies and paranoia make for some really fun scenes.

LordsOfDogtown8. Lords of Dogtown (2005)

And lastly, a biographical movie with an incredible soundtrack- ‘Lords of Dogtown’ is based on the rise of the Z-Boys, skateboarders who paved the way for extreme sports in the early 1970s in Santa Monica. I saw this in theaters with friends and was not only impressed with the music used throughout the film, but by how beautifully shot this movie was and by the performances from all of the actors- especially the late Heath Ledger’s portrayal of Skip Engblom. Even if you’re not a fan of skateboarding- this is a must-watch.

And there you have it! Eight films that are sure to get you ready for the Summertime. A lot of these titles are currently available on Netflix, should anyone want to watch them right now!

And of course, I am always open to recommendations- so if anyone wants to leave their favorite Summer movies in the comments section- feel free! I’d love to check them out!

Review: “Devil’s Due”

Comment 1 Standard

DevilsDuePosterWhat happens when you take take the concept of “Rosemary’s Baby,” and then proceed to remove all of the elements that made that movie good and instead replace them with a plot riddled with loopholes, bad acting, predictable jump scares, and the nausea-inducing and overused hand-held camera style of filming that has plagued the horror genre for the past few years?

You get “Devil’s Due.”

It’s been a while since I sat down to do a good old fashioned horror movie review. Not only because there hasn’t been a whole lot of new horror movies that have piqued my interest as of late, but because my “Horrors of Netflix” review series back in October was pretty traumatic (I’ll be doing it again this October, however- so apparently not traumatic enough.) I saw previews for “Devil’s Due” right around the time they released trailers for “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones,” which I contemplated seeing since I’d already suffered through the last two in theaters- but last night I ultimately I decided to pass on “getting motion sickness while this franchise tries to desperately tie the plot from the first two movies into these sequels as much as possible,” and instead went with “getting motion sickness while this seemingly new franchise sets the bar for horror even lower.”

Before you click the “READ MORE” link below, I do want to give the obligatory warning that I will be breaking this movie down and posting a TON of detailed spoilers. If any of you want to see “Devil’s Due” for yourself without knowing what happens- DO NOT CONTINUE READING.

You’ve been warned.

Continue reading

Horrors of Netflix: “A Haunting in Salem”

Comments 2 Standard

HauntingInSalem1It was a difficult decision, but after careful deliberation, I chose to wrap up this month’s series of reviews & recaps of the best of the worst horror movies on Netflix with a viewing of “A Haunting in Salem,” based on a true story- which means it never happened at all. Ever. I have to say, as excruciatingly bad as all of these movies have been to watch- I’ve rather enjoyed writing these posts, and I hope anyone who follows this blog has enjoyed reading them, too. I have a feeling I’ll be subjecting myself to this unusual form of torture again next October- right around the time my Netflix queue should be finishing up with it’s recovery from all the damage watching these movies has caused it.

Here’s a brief summary of “A Haunting in Salem,” provided by Netflix, in case the movie title or it’s DVD cover weren’t self-explanatory enough.:

“In this spine-chilling indie horror flick, a sheriff relocates to Salem, Mass., with his family — only to discover that the house they’ve moved into is plagued by an ancient curse and haunted by malicious spirits.”

Finally, a movie about ghosts and spirits that takes place in Salem! How innovative and refreshing!

SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT. IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE ENDS- DON’T CLICK IT.

Continue reading

Horrors of Netflix: “100 Ghost Street: The Return of Richard Speck”

Comment 1 Standard

100GhostStreetReview1Ever since I started on this October/Halloween-inspired project of watching the worst of the worst horror movies available to stream, I fear I’ve caused irreversible damage to my Netflix recommendations. What was once filled with suggestions for witty shows and thoughtful movies or documentaries has now turned into an endless parade of cheesy gore and bad acting. I don’t think it will ever recover.

“100 Ghost Street: The Return of Richard Speck,” which has the honor of being the movie with the most unnecessarily long title, was recommended to me based on my recent viewing of ‘Inkubus,’ (Review HERE) which is never a good sign. A brief outline, courtesy of Netflix:

“A group of paranormal investigators sets out to film mass murderer Richard Speck’s ghost at the site of his heinous killing spree in Chicago, where he strangled and stabbed eight student nurses in July 1966.”

Realizing this was one of those ‘Blair Witch’ style documentaries that haven’t worked since, well, ‘The Blair Witch Project,’ and seeing that it barely passed the two-star mark in the Netflix user-generated ratings- I grabbed some Dramamine for the shaky-camera induced motion sickness I knew was on the way, got comfortable in my chair, and prepared to watch director Martin Andersen’s attempt to exploit a pretty horrific and real event.

Halloween is almost here, everyone. These horrible movies are almost over. Hang in there.

AND AS ALWAYS- SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT. DON’T READ ON IF YOU DON’T WANT TO KNOW HOW THIS MOVIE ENDS.

Continue reading

Horrors of Netflix: “Inkubus”

Leave a comment Standard

InkubusMoviePosterIt’s nearly impossible not to love Robert Englund. He’s Freddy Krueger, for God’s sake- one of the most recognizable, memorable, witty-yet-terrifying horror movie villains of all time. What other villain could make sleep- one of the best things in the world- such a frightening thing? What other villain could take on Jason Vorhees, and, in my opinion- completely kick his ass? What other villain could make that striped Christmas-esque sweater look so chic?

Not Michael Myers. I can tell you that much.

Robert Englund is the star of “Inkubus,” a gem I found on Netflix, and judging by the cover, knew I had to watch and dissect. A brief summary, courtesy of Netflix:

“A group of cops stuck on the night shift find themselves thrust into a world of supernatural brutality when a man claiming to be a demon named Inkubus wanders into the precinct house, holding a bloody severed head and looking to settle an old score.”

Alright. It sounds a little over the top and ridiculous- but how bad can it be, right?

Oh. Joey Fatone’s in it.

… Shit.

FOR NARNIA.

Continue reading

Horrors of Netflix: “Lizzie”

Comments 4 Standard

LizzieMoviePosterAfter suffering through “Dead End” and wondering what the hell I was thinking when I decided to do these reviews throughout the month of October, I once again found myself perusing through the horror section of Netflix, cracking up at the movie posters and cringing at the brief plot outlines. I stopped when I saw the poster for “Lizzie.”

An overview, via Netflix:

“The brutal 1892 hatchet murders of the infamous Lizzie Borden acquittal come alive when present-day Lizzie Allen moves back into her childhood home. Suffering from amnesia, she struggles to uncover the mysteries of her youth — and the distant past.”

Sounds terrible enough for me- and- wait, what’s that? Gary Busey is in this?

Well then, what are we waiting for?!

And like always whenever I write a movie review, this post will include some detailed spoilers, so if for whatever reason you feel compelled to actually sit through “Lizzie,” don’t continue reading.

Continue reading

Horrors of Netflix: “Dead End”

Leave a comment Standard

DeadEndMoviePosterI haven’t done a movie review in a while, mostly because the majority of movies I’ve seen in recent months have fallen under the action and/or comedy category, and critiquing horror films is really more of my forte. Thankfully, with Halloween approaching, there is no shortage of scary movies to be found, be they in theaters or on television. My favorite collection, however, lies in the seedy underworld that is the Netflix queue. You see, Netflix, while having a brilliant selection of movies and compelling TV series available for viewing- is also a treasure trove for some of the worst, the cheapest, the absolute most unwatchable movies and shows in the history of film and television. This rings especially true in the horror movie category.

I love cheesy horror movies almost as much, if not more, than I love genuinely well-made horror movies or cult classics. I like watching the particular bad ones with a group of friends, which almost always turns the screening into something right out of “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” with all of us laughing at and/or adding commentary during the movie.

That being said, I decided to get into the Halloween spirit this month by selecting some of these unquestionably bad horror movies on my Netflix queue, suffering through them, and reviewing them for your (and my) pleasure. I’m calling this series of posts “Horrors of Netflix,” and first up on the list is 2003’s “Dead End.”

I’ve seen “Dead End” before. More than once, actually. The first time was with friends, back when Blockbuster Video was still an active thing and not a relic from the past that people can look at in museums these days to learn about ancient civilizations, We had been looking for a horror movie to pass a lazy Saturday night and the cover to “Dead End” caught our attention.

The second time I watched this movie was days after the first time, when I wanted to confirm that it really was as bad as I’d originally thought and that I hadn’t hallucinated it’s terribleness or anything.

Needless to say, when it popped up on Netflix, I was pretty excited to get the opportunity to watch it in all it’s awful glory one more time to kick things off for this series of reviews.

Please be warned, this review will contain spoilers. If you DO NOT want to know how this movie ends, do not click the link below.

Continue reading

Review: “The Last Exorcism Part II”

Leave a comment Standard

TheLastExorcismIIPosterI have a bad habit when it comes to movie sequels: if I’ve seen the first one, then I have to see them all until the series is done- even if the movies get progressively more and more terrible (case in point: the “Paranormal Activity” movies, or the “Saw” series). I suppose it’s just because I don’t like to leave anything, not just movies, unfinished. If I start something, I need to see it through to the end.

I’ll just say it now: I thought “The Last Exorcism”, the first one (which makes the sequel title more than a little silly), was boring and predictable. The plot itself wasn’t actually too terrible: A disillusioned minister, who has perfected the art of “faking” exorcisms to ail people having emotional and psychological episodes, is called in to help a teenage girl, Nell, who is thought to be possessed in Louisiana (of course it’d take place in Louisiana) . Thinking it will be a run of the mill job, he allows a filming crew who are making a documentary to follow him so he can show just how fraudulent exorcisms are. It goes without saying that things go bad very quickly. The bible-thumping Bayou folk don’t take kindly to the minister or his film crew, there’s a pretty good chance Nell is legitimately possessed by an actual demon, and as the minister tries to save Nell, and himself, he uncovers a slew of secrets about the girl’s family, and the town itself.

Promising premise. Poor execution. The movie wasn’t scary (even the actual exorcism scene was boring, with the exception of some bone cracking that made all of us in the theater a little uncomfortable), and the ending left everyone scratching their heads in confusion or shaking their heads in frustration because of how rushed and thrown together it was. It’s available right now on Netflix, if any of you feel inclined to check it out for yourselves.

Regardless, the film did well enough in theaters that they made a sequel, and last night, I headed out to see it with a friend.

*CAUTION: CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK. INTENSIVE SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT.*

Continue reading

Review: “Mama”

Leave a comment Standard

MamaPosterLet me just go ahead and get this out of the way right now: I love Guillermo del Toro. I will watch pretty much anything that has his name attached to it. His style of story-telling and his direction methods make for beautiful and compelling films. I feel weird even just calling them films, to be honest. They’re so much more than that. They’re art, plain and simple. He is an artist- and a brilliant one at that.

Although I’m a  fan of his more well-known and critically acclaimed hits, “Blade 2”, the “Hellboy” movies, and “Pan’s Labyrinth”- I’d say one of my all-time favorites has got to be “The Orphange” (in which he was executive producer). I remember being so thoroughly creeped out and moved by the end of it that I could barely hold a conversation with my friends after we’d watched it. I had gotten so wrapped up in the story that when it was over, I was spent.

I’ve been anticipating “Mama” for a while now. Another executive producing endeavor from del Toro, the previews for it made it look like a visually stunning and scary supernatural thriller. Led by Hollywood’s current favorite leading lady, Jessica Chastain, sporting a rather unusual haircut, it already seemed more promising than my last trip to the cinema had been.

WARNING: THERE ARE EXTENSIVE SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

Continue reading

Review: “Texas Chainsaw 3D”

Comments 3 Standard

TexasChainsawMassacre3DApart from “The Walking Dead”, my favorite horror franchise is, without a doubt, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”. That’s not to say I’ve enjoyed every movie in the series (I like to pretend “The Next Generation” never happened. Sorry, Matthew McConaughey and Renée Zellweger!), but the original 1974 film, which was completely unique for it’s time, coupled with the fact that the actual making of it was bordering snuff film territory- will forever make it a creepy classic that can’t be topped.

And I may be in the minority here, but I thoroughly enjoyed the 2003 re-boot starring Jessica Biel, as well as the 2006 prequel, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning”. I thought both films were genuinely scary, with just the right amount of gore to make you cringe without being desensitized. They had plots that seemed to have had some actual thought put into them, and they were brilliantly cast. R. Lee Ermey’s ruthless, sadistic, and foul-mouthed Sheriff Hoyt will forever be one of horror’s greatest villains.

So when it was announced that there would be a new installment in the series, I was skeptical. There’s only so many ways to make a family of hillbilly cannibals with a penchant for power tools new and fresh without re-making the original (again), and you can’t really develop long-standing fan favorites like Leatherface without completely changing the franchise’s history. I thought the way the prequel ended was excellent. It tied everything, the re-boot, the 1974 original, and every film afterwards, even the bad ones- together perfectly.

When it was announced the new installment would also be in 3D, my skepticism turned into downright cynicism. I’ve said it in the past that 3D is used entirely too much in movies where it’s not really necessary, but in horror films? It’s almost always cheesy*. Case in point: “My Bloody Valentine 3D”.

*I did enjoy “Saw 3D: The Final Chapter”, but I will openly admit that I was biased, as seeing Sean Patrick Flanery in 3D is an experience every woman should have at some point in their lives- and that adorable Jigsaw puppet in 3D completely cracked me up.

Regardless, I am a dedicated fan of TCM, and on Friday night, I headed to the cinema with my friend Stef to catch a screening of “Texas Chainsaw 3D”. I wasn’t expecting much, but I also wasn’t expecting… Well, this…

WARNING: AHOY. AHEAD THERE BE SPOILERS. CLICK AT YOUR OWN RISK.

READ MORE…